I grew up in California. I was born in Lodi, lived in Vallejo and then we moved to Napa where we lived for ten years. When I was 12 we moved to Ukiah, Ca. in the beautiful Mendocino county. Mendocino county is the hippy capitol of Ca. And I'm not talking about the Silicone Valley hippy with their wool socks, Birkenstocks, and over-priced Priuses. I'm talking about the true hippies. The earth dwellers. The lovers of pine needles, moss and ferns. The kind of people who lived off grid before it was en-vogue. The ones who exited society to live without rules or social responsibility. These are the type of hippies that I brushed shoulders with during my formative years and I'm mildly amused by how much I've been affected by them.
When I was a child and we lived in Napa, we would go to the Odd Fellows Campground on the Russian River. The drive took us over the mountains and into the coastal valley near Mendocino County. The road there was narrow and winding and I often spent the first hour upon arrival overcoming carsickness. But it was worth it.
While in the car, I spent the whole time with my face plastered to the window watching for the Gnomes and Fairies. That's what I called them anyway. I called them Gnomes and Fairies because I knew they were there, but I never got to see them; only the evidence of them. An old VW van here, a small yurt there. My favorites were the old school buses painted all different colors; some with curtains; most with stove pipes. I knew they were there, but my eyes never caught the occupants of these strange abodes. Their homes reminded me of mushrooms (especially the yurts) popping up under the canopy of the Redwoods, sharing the fern-strewn ground with the other inhabitants of the forest.
I was never turned off by the simplicity of the estates. Nor did it ever occur to me how dirty, or un-kept or primitive their existence was. I don't know if it was the odd placement of the dwellings, the lazy list of the smoke from the smokestacks, or the strange absence of the people that lived in them; but something about them pulled upon my melancholy heart and left me feeling as though I was observing something profound without knowing what.
As a child I would wish for the ride to be longer, hoping never to leave the feeling of mystery and illusiveness. Who were these people? Where did they come from and how did they have the courage to live like that? I'm not sure why I thought it courageous. I just know that at the time I felt that they had something that I did not have. They were free.
After arriving at our destination I would spend the time it took to set up camp recalling the details of each homestead like flipping through mental photographs. Some places were more inviting to my imagination and I'd rehears everything I could remember, imagining what it would be like to live there. What was it about that life that so captivated me. Was it the Redwoods? Was it the ferns and mist and dripping foliage? Was it the place or the people?
As an adult I've asked myself that question many times. I think, in part, it's the wonder of a child's mind that is un-cluttered by the cares of this world. But when I really contemplate the experience, I realize that what drew me to the coastal "Gnomes and Fairies" was the idea that one could live free without the weight of structure and responsibility. Even as a child I knew the weight of structure. My slightly Obsessive Compulsive, control- freak, mind longed to be free of the confines of itself. I can see now that if I could have put into word the feeling that I had as a child I would have said, " How wonderful that those people can live out here away from those who would tell them they had to be a certain way. How glorious it must feel to have no one expect anything from you. To be free and at ease and find joy in what is simple and quiet and pleasant."
As I contemplate that, I have to wonder if the longing in my heart as a child was not really for the lifestyle of the hippies; but perhaps was for freedom itself. As we grow up we become aware and awareness is such a burden. Even to a small mind, the weight of knowledge was more than I wanted. I was a spectator, even then, looking in to an ideal that I had already lost.
The Bible says that whom the Son sets free is free indeed. I wonder if we are not, perhaps, more free that we realize. The Bible says that we are to become like children in order to please God. I wish that I was that child again. The one that existed before the longing. I know we can't run from responsibility. We can't hide from the world around us. The world needs us too much for us to hide. But I do think that God longs for us to walk in that simple kind of freedom where knowledge has not stolen joy and pride has not smothered innocence.
If we ever find ourselves longing to escape perhaps we should ask ourselves what we are indeed escaping from. Could it be the very things we want to escape are cages of our own making? Could it be that less is required of us than we realize? Could it be that God intends for us to live at peace and ease? Could it be that the feeling I had on that road to the river was not a fairytale but a whisper of The Maker of my soul inviting me to live, in essence, as He had designed me to live?
Perhaps those moments as a child were, "Taste and see that I am good", moments. Maybe God gave them to me so that now, as an adult, I could remember, and find my way back home.
Until next time...
Tuesday, November 11, 2014
Friday, November 7, 2014
Just Make Pancakes
Sometimes in life, the best answer is pancakes. When it's late and you're tired and don't feel like cooking dinner; resort to pancakes. I'm not sure why making pancakes feels less like making dinner, but it does, and if someone complains about the lack of protein then hand them a jar of crunchy peanut butter. Crunchy because the chunks require chewing and that will give the illusion of meat; or something like that. It works, try it.
I rely on this method at least once a week. Thursdays are our "In-Town" days. We attend piano lessons, babysit for MOPS and visit my parents. We also do the grocery shopping, pick up dry cleaning, and visit Goodwill for any off- the- rack deals. Thursdays are also the days I do errands for the church and coffee or lunch dates with friends; all with the girls in tow.
It was at the end of one of those days that pancakes for dinner entered my possibilities list. My weak attempt at a dinner turned in to one of the most special, planned meals of our week.
When the girls were younger "In Town" day was a much more tiring day than it is now. I had four daughters in five years and once they were all born it required great skill and technique to make it through Walmart in less than an hour. I always put the toddler in the seat in the cart. The infant was left in the car seat and placed in the basket. The other two toddlers walked next to the cart on the same side and were required to hold on to the cart. A second basket was pulled behind me for the groceries since the first one was full of children.
If I had a dollar for every time that I said, "Hands on cart. " I would be a millionaire. Once they were all walking age, staying on the same side of the cart was a challenge, but I explained to the girls that if we walked with two girls on one side and two girls on the other we would take up the whole aisle and then no one would be able to get around us. And, since people are precious, then we ought to consider others before ourselves and not take up more of our share of space. They seemed to understand and never complained.
I had them trained so well that to this day if they are walking next to me they will still walk with one hand on the cart. It's not necessary now, but it's comfortable. They're grown and can maneuver through Walmart without getting lost, getting stepped on, or causing someone else inconvenience, but, the rule was consistent and had meaning; the habit formed; and now the memory is a fond.
It's like our spiritual disciplines. Prayer, giving, fasting, Bible reading, and fellowship. If the "rule" is understood and we are consistent, a habit will form and it will be a fond part of our lives. Ever comforting us. Ever changing us. The result will be that we won't get lost in the aisles of life. We won't get hurt as badly by others and we in turn will not hurt others. And, since people are indeed precious we will develop the ability to put others before ourselves and we will truly find peace.
I don't suppose that it matters any more, the rule about the cart; it's outlived it's usefulness. But there are so many other valuable God-lessons that I've taught my girls over the years, and I pray that they will never outlive their usefulness.
Like I said. Next time just make pancakes.
Until next time...
I rely on this method at least once a week. Thursdays are our "In-Town" days. We attend piano lessons, babysit for MOPS and visit my parents. We also do the grocery shopping, pick up dry cleaning, and visit Goodwill for any off- the- rack deals. Thursdays are also the days I do errands for the church and coffee or lunch dates with friends; all with the girls in tow.
It was at the end of one of those days that pancakes for dinner entered my possibilities list. My weak attempt at a dinner turned in to one of the most special, planned meals of our week.
When the girls were younger "In Town" day was a much more tiring day than it is now. I had four daughters in five years and once they were all born it required great skill and technique to make it through Walmart in less than an hour. I always put the toddler in the seat in the cart. The infant was left in the car seat and placed in the basket. The other two toddlers walked next to the cart on the same side and were required to hold on to the cart. A second basket was pulled behind me for the groceries since the first one was full of children.
If I had a dollar for every time that I said, "Hands on cart. " I would be a millionaire. Once they were all walking age, staying on the same side of the cart was a challenge, but I explained to the girls that if we walked with two girls on one side and two girls on the other we would take up the whole aisle and then no one would be able to get around us. And, since people are precious, then we ought to consider others before ourselves and not take up more of our share of space. They seemed to understand and never complained.
I had them trained so well that to this day if they are walking next to me they will still walk with one hand on the cart. It's not necessary now, but it's comfortable. They're grown and can maneuver through Walmart without getting lost, getting stepped on, or causing someone else inconvenience, but, the rule was consistent and had meaning; the habit formed; and now the memory is a fond.
It's like our spiritual disciplines. Prayer, giving, fasting, Bible reading, and fellowship. If the "rule" is understood and we are consistent, a habit will form and it will be a fond part of our lives. Ever comforting us. Ever changing us. The result will be that we won't get lost in the aisles of life. We won't get hurt as badly by others and we in turn will not hurt others. And, since people are indeed precious we will develop the ability to put others before ourselves and we will truly find peace.
I don't suppose that it matters any more, the rule about the cart; it's outlived it's usefulness. But there are so many other valuable God-lessons that I've taught my girls over the years, and I pray that they will never outlive their usefulness.
Like I said. Next time just make pancakes.
Until next time...
Tuesday, November 4, 2014
There and back again.
It's been several months since I posted on my blog. Life got busy and the blog lost it's importance. Now that fall has come and things have slowed down and taken form, I find that my evenings are less chaotic and more conducive to blogging. That, and a friend encouraged me to blog again because she actually read it and liked it. Imagine that!
So here I am again, pounding the keys and wondering how to return to something that I had abandon. I suppose that some things do not require any pomp and can begin with the same momentum with which they ceased.
For those who have read my previous blogs, my husband is doing really well with his Parkinson's. The doctors put him on a new medication, and the tremors have stopped completely. The only time one sees the affect of the disease is in the morning, before the first dose. I wish I could say that my efforts in a good diet and healthy living had made the difference, but it did not. If a person suffers from discomfort or disease I think the natural approach is the first to consider, however, some times it is not the last thing that should be considered.
If you are like me, you would like for all that God created to hold the answers for our every need. You would hope that you could find answers to ailments naturally and without side effects. I suppose that when God first created things that reality would hold merit, but things have digressed and we owe it to ourselves, sometimes, to explore unfriendly territory to find answers that will raise our quality of life for the present.
I know it says in the Bible that God has numbered our days. I don't believe that I can do anything to add to the length of time that God has allotted me, but I do think that it is up to me to determine how I will spend those days, and it's that challenge that keeps folk like me searching for answers in the health food aisle; answers to health and vitality. Food, supplements, and salves can work their miracle on countless discomforts, but none of them can remove the impending thought that we are all going to die. We can do our best to live good, happy, healthy, lives, but no effort on our part will remove the final outcome; death. I think it's this realization that helps me keep balanced with my approach to healthy living. There is no food, no drink, no ointment that will remove this fact from our lives and to embrace that is the beginning of peace.
Death, for the Children of God, is not the end, it is the beginning. It's the call home. It is the beginning of the long anticipated reward. Death holds no fear or dread for the one who's name is written in the Lamb's Book of Life. God may give wisdom to His people to make our journey more pleasant, but He has no intent of making the journey longer than He wants it to be for each of His children.
I don't take death lightly, in fact, I ascribe to it the proper awe and reverence that it deserves. Ecclesiastes 3:11 says, "He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end." And, "Psalm 116:15 15 Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his faithful servants."
These passages don't mean that God loves death, but that He honors it as a right of passage into the Rest that He has provided for us. He holds our lives and death as an honor unto His name. What an amazing thought!
As I come back to this blog and my audience of two, LOL, I just want to say that no matter how hard we try to do everything right in the area of healthy living, we will eventually succumb to the inevitable. Let that thought not keep you from your Paleo cookies and organic produce, but let it give you the freedom to administer your "prescriptions" with an air of ease and joy; knowing your limits, and leaving the rest in the hands of Him who loves you so very much.
Until next time...
So here I am again, pounding the keys and wondering how to return to something that I had abandon. I suppose that some things do not require any pomp and can begin with the same momentum with which they ceased.
For those who have read my previous blogs, my husband is doing really well with his Parkinson's. The doctors put him on a new medication, and the tremors have stopped completely. The only time one sees the affect of the disease is in the morning, before the first dose. I wish I could say that my efforts in a good diet and healthy living had made the difference, but it did not. If a person suffers from discomfort or disease I think the natural approach is the first to consider, however, some times it is not the last thing that should be considered.
If you are like me, you would like for all that God created to hold the answers for our every need. You would hope that you could find answers to ailments naturally and without side effects. I suppose that when God first created things that reality would hold merit, but things have digressed and we owe it to ourselves, sometimes, to explore unfriendly territory to find answers that will raise our quality of life for the present.
I know it says in the Bible that God has numbered our days. I don't believe that I can do anything to add to the length of time that God has allotted me, but I do think that it is up to me to determine how I will spend those days, and it's that challenge that keeps folk like me searching for answers in the health food aisle; answers to health and vitality. Food, supplements, and salves can work their miracle on countless discomforts, but none of them can remove the impending thought that we are all going to die. We can do our best to live good, happy, healthy, lives, but no effort on our part will remove the final outcome; death. I think it's this realization that helps me keep balanced with my approach to healthy living. There is no food, no drink, no ointment that will remove this fact from our lives and to embrace that is the beginning of peace.
Death, for the Children of God, is not the end, it is the beginning. It's the call home. It is the beginning of the long anticipated reward. Death holds no fear or dread for the one who's name is written in the Lamb's Book of Life. God may give wisdom to His people to make our journey more pleasant, but He has no intent of making the journey longer than He wants it to be for each of His children.
I don't take death lightly, in fact, I ascribe to it the proper awe and reverence that it deserves. Ecclesiastes 3:11 says, "He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end." And, "Psalm 116:15 15 Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his faithful servants."
These passages don't mean that God loves death, but that He honors it as a right of passage into the Rest that He has provided for us. He holds our lives and death as an honor unto His name. What an amazing thought!
As I come back to this blog and my audience of two, LOL, I just want to say that no matter how hard we try to do everything right in the area of healthy living, we will eventually succumb to the inevitable. Let that thought not keep you from your Paleo cookies and organic produce, but let it give you the freedom to administer your "prescriptions" with an air of ease and joy; knowing your limits, and leaving the rest in the hands of Him who loves you so very much.
Until next time...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)